Mother's Day After Divorce

Holidays can be tough when in the midst of a custody dispute, especially parent-centered holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. What once was an intimate and loving day meant to celebrate parenthood can be soured by contentions or bad feelings brought on by a divorce or separation. Even those whose proceedings aren’t marked with court drama-level antagonism may find that the occasions ring hollow in the face of a monumental shift in your family dynamic. 

But even as you and your family go through such changes, it’s important to remember how your individual roles as parents are paramount to developing a healthy co-parenting relationship and that they should be celebrated at every opportunity you can.  

As Mother’s Day draws closer, we here at Biadvo thought it would be helpful to not only encourage you to find new ways to celebrate with your co-parent and children, but to offer some tips on how to do so!

Plan Ahead! 

Scheduling is vital when you’re deciding custody, and the same applies to when planning for Mother’s Day. Seeing as this is a parent-specific holiday, it would serve to have the children with their mother to celebrate. Consider using Biadvo’s Co-Parenting Agreement to avoid emotionally- and monetarily-taxing court costs and draw up a flexible plan that suits you and your co-parent’s needs.

Get the Kids Involved!

It’s fun for the kids to have some say in how they celebrate their mother on her special day, whether that be itinerary or what kind of card to get her. In a time where the children may be reeling from having their sense of family uprooted, ground them in these time-tested conventions. 

For younger children, encourage them to make artwork or homemade gifts that showcases their appreciation for their mother; let them pick out her flowers, card, and/or some sort of treat. Older children can be trusted with more responsibility; try letting them design the day’s schedule and picking out gifts.

Nix Routine!

If Mother’s Day before the divorce/separation included a big event with you, your co-parent, and your children, it may go without saying that such traditions may not serve to be upheld post-divorce. But don’t fret— you can still get the most out of the day by reframing the old way to make it suit everyone. 

For example, say your family always held a large brunch together— Let Mom and the kids go out for a small picnic or lunch date. Tailoring pre-divorce customs to center Mom and the kids is the best course of action to ensure everyone has a good day. 

Show Gratitude!

In the midst of custody disputes or divorce, you could be forgiven for forgetting to say ‘thank you’ to your co-parent, especially when it comes to caring for your children. Holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were designed to give these most important jobs the veneration they deserve, and even though your personal relationship may not have worked out you two are co-partners in something even greater: raising your children. There are so many ways to show your appreciation for your co-parent: gifts, flowers, saying thank you, giving them the space they want to spend time with the kids— whatever is going to mean the most to them on their day.

This Mother’s Day, forego the bad feelings and bring your family together through the power of thankfulness.