A Different Approach To Modification Of A Child Custody & Access Agreement

Generally speaking, the basis for modification of a child custody or access agreement is a material change in circumstance impacting the child. Some examples of this may include: the relocation of one parent, a child is experiencing social or academic challenges, or abuse and neglect (this is not an exhaustive list).

When a situation like this occurs, generally a lawyer is the first person to be contacted, after reflection with family and friends. From there you are quoted a fee, a pleading is filed, and your co-parent is served with paperwork. In response, your co-parent does the same thing and, just like that, your children’s college fund, your 401(k), or vacation savings account is ten thousand dollars smaller.

General Colin Powell said this about diplomacy:

“Diplomacy is listening to what the other guy needs. Preserving your own position, but listening to the other guy. You have to develop relationships with other people so when the tough times come, you can work together.”

This is no different when it comes to co-parenting.

When a change occurs in your life circumstances, before you call your lawyer, try communicating with your co-parent first. You all may experience breakdowns in the communication, but see it through until you all can independently reach a resolution. If the impasse appears to be insurmountable, enlist the services of a mediator or parent coordinator to provide perspective and alternatives.

If you approach the modification issue with clear, thoughtful, and respectful communication you will reach a resolution that places the best interest of your child first.